I didn't find my people until college 😣

Genuinely thought something was wrong with me in middle school and high school.

I thought I was social enough.. funny enough.. trying hard enough. But the friendships never felt like mine. I'd say I had acquaintances, but not real friends.. and that hurt 💔

I remember watching the popular kids who seemed to have it all figured out and thinking to myself.. why isn't that me?

I was jealous of the the big friend group, the inside jokes, and the "easy" confidence.

(Especially the confidence that was magnetic to the girls I was crushing on 😆)

If you have a kid that would relate to that right now, this newsletter is for you 💙

Coach Madi and I recorded a podcast back in October all about teen friendship struggles - what's really going on beneath the surface, and what parents can actually do to help.

It's a few months old.. but man, the replies I STILL get from parents told me this one needed to be shared again.

It's been private until now, but I just opened it to the public so you can listen to it here! It's 22 minutes well spent. I pinky promise!

Here are 4 things Madi and I talked about that I think every parent needs to hear right now 👇

#1 Play the long game

This is the one parents don't always want to hear.. but need to.

Your teenager likely won't find their forever people in high school.
Most people don't. Madi and I sure didn't.

And that doesn't mean they've failed. It's just the timeline of growing up.

Your job isn't to make sure they're popular by graduation. Your job is to make sure they feel safe enough to keep trying, keep showing up, and keep believing that their people are out there.

Because they are. They really are ☺️

(if you have a kid that's super mature and an 'old soul', I want you to read that section again. This is especially for you.
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#2 Validate before you fix

When your kid comes to you struggling.. the instinct is to solve it.

To plan the playdate. Text the other mom. Give them the advice that you know will help. Maybe even advice you've seen from my IG..

But when you rush to fix it, you accidentally send a message: you are a problem that needs to be solved 🙅‍♂️

I know you cringed at reading that (cuz it's not true!!)

That's never your intention, but that's sometimes what lands.

So before anything else.. just sit in it with them.
"That sounds really hard."
"I get why that would hurt."

Ask them: "do you want to vent, or do you want my advice?"

You'd be surprised how often they'll just tell you exactly what they need 😅
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#3 Don't confuse introversion with insecurity

One of my favorite moments in this whole podcast is when Maddie and I just flat out said it:

Quiet doesn't mean broken.

I've met some of the most confident teenagers of my life who barely said a word in a group setting. And I've met loud, funny, popular kids who were insecure underneath all of it.

If your kid has one or two solid friendships and seems content?
That might just be health. Let it be health.

Two dimes or ten pennies...

You know which one I'm picking 😌
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#4 Help them find what they can control

Friend drama feels completely uncontrollable. And honestly.. a lot of it is 🥲

You can't control how other kids act.
You can't make anyone be a good friend.
You can't force a connection that isn't there.

But your kid can control some things.

Madi shared this concept of three buckets on the podcast — what's controllable, what's uncontrollable, and what's influenceable.

That third bucket is where the magic is.. because it gets kids out of black-and-white thinking and into problem-solving mode.

At the end of the day, your kid needs to focus on doing their best with the things they can control, and surrendering the things they can't 🫡

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If this resonated, Coach Madi and I go so much deeper on all of it in the full episode!!

We talk about the kid who won't connect in real life.. the one who's stuck in drama.. the one who's perfectly content with zero friends and won't budge. All of it.

👉 You can watch the full podcast here!​

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22 minutes well spent. Pinky promise 🥰

You're doing better than you think, my friend!

Keep it up.
-Coach Will 💛