I recently came across a letter written by a school principal to his students' parents. I thought it was worth sharing so I reposted it on Instagram ๐
The backlash was.. unexpected ๐
People got caught up on the grammar.
On whether kids were being given an excuse to slack.
On what the principal "really meant."
And I get it... parents are wired to protect their kids.
But while everyone was arguing in the comments, the actual message of that letter was getting completely buried.
So here it is!!
5 reminders for parents heading into finals season. And yes.. the first one is about you ๐
#1 It starts with you
The principal didn't write that letter to the kids.
She wrote it to the parents.
Because she understood something a lot of us forget when test season rolls around..
Your energy is contagious.
When you're anxious about the grade, your kid absorbs that anxiety. When you're hovering and checking and nudging, they feel the pressure even if you never say a word about it ๐คทโโ๏ธ
So before you do anything else this finals season, try this simple zoom-out:
Notice how you're showing up.
Tense? Hovering? Quietly panicking?
Ask yourself: will this matter in 5 days, 5 months, 5 years?
Take a breath. Parent from THAT place.
Your kid needs your calm more than they need your reminders to study - or certainly in addition to them.
#2 Separate self-worth from performance
Here's the core message inside that principal's letter.
Grades are not an accurate measure of your child's value. And when kids believe they are, it breaks them.
The kid who believes "I have to succeed to feel confident" either freezes up from anxiety.. or checks out completely to protect themselves from failing.
Neither one is a motivation problem. It's a self-worth problem ๐ฅบ
Try shifting your language this week:
"The effort matters more to me than the outcome."
"You are not your grade. I need you to know that."
"I'm proud of you for showing up and doing the work. That's what counts."
Say it enough times and they'll start to believe it ๐ So will you!
#3 Grit is the real goal
This doesn't mean grades don't matter. They do!
But what your kid is actually building right now is something that will serve them for the rest of their life.
The ability to push through something hard.
To stay consistent even when it's boring or frustrating or overwhelming.
To not quit just because it got uncomfortable.
That's grit. And grit travels.
It goes with them to college, to their first job, to hard relationships and hard seasons they haven't even imagined yet.
So this week, celebrate the effort out loud:
"I don't care what score you get. I care that you gave it everything you had."
"Working hard even when it's hard is a big deal. I see that in you."
Grades open doors.
โGrit determines what they do once they're inside ๐ฅ
#4 Catch them doing something right
During finals week it's really easy to zoom in on everything that isn't happening.
They're not studying enough.
They're still on their phone.
They seem WAY too relaxed for someone with three exams coming up๐
But I want to challenge you to flip the lens this week.
Every time you catch your kid doing something right, even something tiny, say it out loud. Be specific and mean it.
Did they study without being reminded? Say something!!
Did they ask for help instead of shutting down? Say something!!
Did they just take a real break instead of doom scrolling? Say something!!!
Kids become the version of themselves they see reflected back to them most often.
Show them the good you see - it matters more than you know ๐
#5 Be their teammate, not their manager ๐ค
A lot of teens walk into finals week feeling like they're completely on their own. The pressure is high and the workload is real.
The last thing they want is to feel micromanaged on top of all of it.
So this week, try showing up as a teammate instead.
"What can WE do to make it a good week?"
"How can WE break this assignment down?"
"Tell me what's feeling most overwhelming and let's look at it together."
When they feel you're on their team, the pressure gets lighter. And so does everything else!
Test season is stressful. For your kid and for you too.
But the best thing you can do this week has nothing to do with flashcards or study schedules.
It's showing up calm, speaking to their worth, and reminding them they're not in it alone.
That's the stuff they'll remember long after the grade is forgotten ๐
Have the best week, friend!!
-Coach Will ๐
PS - We have spots available for 1:1 summer coaching! We're relatable mentors that hold kids accountable to taking action. Girls and boys ages 12-20! Learn more about our mentorship here.โ